Break and Rebuild
by StoppedClock
Summary: After a failed attempt of escaping everything, an unwanted man is forced back to life only to live alone, excluding his dysfunctional friendship with an old sensei. But for some reason she tries to understand him, because misery loves company. SasuHina
1. the end

The End

Everything hurts, but why can't I feel anything?

I'm struggling to continue walking, my breathing is sharp and I'm gasping for air as dry bark makes contact with my finger tips. I reach, pulling towards a tree, a tombstone. I lean against it and collapse.

Taking in the final scene of my life, it is a blackened forest, dyed with shadows and scarlet ribbons cut from the flesh of the several dead bodies lying in my sight. I could throw up with disgust, but it seems as if there's nothing left inside. My vision is blurred, but there are a few faces still familiar, and others are too messed up, to tangled to identify. My palms are painted red and I remember that I had not taken out a weapon once, but instead ripped throats out with my bear hands. So fingering through my pocket I locate my only blade, still spotless. And it's funny, that it worked out like this, the death of me being a pure wound, as if I were trying to disinfect my body with something clean. So I push in, piercing my skin slowly. The cut begins to seep and there is a stinging in my eyes. I can't feel the pain, so I know it's just the human left in me. But tears don't fall, because I was never capable with being normal. I can taste blood, but I crave warmth. I miss eating with them, and laughing at stupid things. I miss being so carefree and enjoying the things that would one day kill me.

I miss it all.

--

"He's alive."

Sakura clenched her fist and continued stroking the head of her unconscious comrade. She looked down at him and felt tears build up again. His once plastered on smile had been replaced with a serene face, as if that mask he put on for others had been torn off. There were more scratches that adorned his cheeks and bandages covering his torso. Tears escaped her eyes as she looked at her teacher and spoke.

"Will he be okay?" she asked with much worry.

"He is very badly injured, but you did your best. He will make it through, but he's damaged one of his main chakra vessels." Tsunade sighed.

"How did he survive the chakra transfusion with so little energy?"

Tsunade hesitated and then spoke, "It must have been the fox demon, I don't really understand it myself, but I think the fox's chakra vessel must have substituted for his normal one, in order for him to survive."

"The fox needs a host, so it will do anything to survive," Sakura replied gently combing her fingers through his thick blonde hair. "But that means Naruto will have constant exposure to the nine tail."

Tsunade nodded, "It will be hard for him."

There was silence, except for the blondes breathing.

"How many so far?" Sakura's voice trembled.

Tsunade tensed, "They've counted twenty one, six of them directly included in the mission."

She held back a sob.

Tsunade's heart softened and she yearned to to give her pupil a hug; much like a mother would give to a child that needed comfort. She felt herself beginning to break down; the loss of so many haunted her. What kind of kazekage would allow something like this to happen?

Sakura inhaled and collected herself, asking the question Tsunade was ready for the moment the conversation began.

"What about Sasuke?"

With great thought she answered, "The mission was successful, he too is alive."

--

I am sore all over and the light burns through my eyelids. Not thinking, I open my eyes at once; ready to see heaven or even more realistically, hell. My sight's still hazy, but everything is white and clean. It must be heaven then, but it's quite peculiar that heaven resembles a hospital room.

Damn.


	2. the start

The Start

There isn't one thing in this room that isn't washed out, the bed sheets, walls, even my skin is the palest white. My body aches tremendously, as if every muscle has turned to stone. Preceding with further inspection I cautiously touch my cheek, to feel light stubble, I've been lying here for about a week. IV tubes are attached to my wrists and there is a glass of water on the night stand next to me. I sit up with much effort and a thirsty cough escapes my lips as I bring the water to my mouth. I fall back into my pillow and let out a loud sigh.

Why?

The door knob squeaks and my head jerks to the source, it opens and as if fate hadn't screwed me enough times, it's the last person I wanted to see. Honestly, her initial reaction of my consciousness bothered me, because I was expecting tears and whiny confessions of love, but instead I receive a long hard stare. I can't make out whether it's of disgust or pity, but I hate it. She looks a bit different then I can last remember, more mature in a way, quite possibly more attractive, and it seems as if she finally grew into her forehead. Sakura Haruno, now eighteen years old and sporting a jounin badge on her shoulder, I am surprised to see her again.

She pulls a chair next to me and sits, I notice that she isn't afraid to sit within reach of me, and it' somewhat irritating that she would invade my person space as if it were old times. Everything's different, and she knows that, I can tell by tension on her face. There is silence and we wait in each other's presence.

"How do you feel?" she asks awkwardly.

"How do _you_ feel?" I mimic, my voice raspy and tired.

"I'm getting by," she pauses for a moment, "Do you remember anything?"

I remember everything.

Every memory, every death, I can recall each life I ended and the adrenaline that pumped through my veins. I remember not being able to control myself and watching my own hands kill, I hate myself. I debate a new idea in my head. If I could start new, would I? And I know that this answer will determine the outcome of my life, or could even result in life or death. So I close my eyes and think for a second, prepared to lie.

But deep down I know I don't deserve another chance.

No matter what.

"I guess so."

I can see her heart break, and I know she was thinking the same thing I was. Hoping I was a clean slate.

She replies, "I see."

"What happened?

"We found you, finally. You put up a fight, and eventually the curse mark took over." She recalls, I'm sure I can see fear strike her eyes for a second.

"Ah."

"Except this time it was different," her voice cracks, "It was like your soul was gone, and you just wanted more than anything to kill. It was so awful, but it wasn't your fault....but they threw themselves at you, and no one stood a chance. So many.."

I hate her.

But she continues, "After Neji and Lee attempted to stop you, Naruto stepped in..." she trails off, tears formed in her eyes. "We missed you so much! And finally you're back."

"How is he?"

Her eyes widen at what she thinks is concern, even I can't tell if it is, but I'm desperate for the answer.

"He...he is okay."

"Good, looks like the entire village owes him for taking down the beast." I reply coldly.

She places her hand on mine softly, "Sasuke..."

I automatically recoil, like I was bitten. There is pain in her eyes, nut at the moment I only feel rage. "Get out."

"But Sasuke I-"

"Fine stay, just let me go."

With that I push her away and with every ounce of strength I get up and leave, with no plan whatsoever.

--

A few ninja knock on a large door, while holding the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan. The guards seem a bit uncomfortable even though he is pretty close to passing out from exhaust.

"Come in."

They enter the office and release their prisoner, shoving him into a chair across from the Hokage herself. She sits patiently with her hands folded on her desk, still wearing her reading glasses. He looks around the office to find that he is sitting with three other shinobi, and he recognizes and about six older men standing on the sides he's not sure of. Sakura sits to his right, and surprisingly he feels a sudden uneasiness when he sees his old sensei sitting to his left.

Tsunade clears her throat, "Uchiha Sasuke, you are a missing nin, returned to your home village and that is a very wonderful thing. Unfortunately you have committed such things that require punishment."

He's not really paying attention to her, just observing the reactions of others in the room, waiting to see who's anxious to have him killed. It seems as if everyone is already aware of these circumstances, and he realizes they were probably discussed before he came. The possibly mute Hyuga girl sits next to Sakura, and he wonders why she's here.

"Today we have a few witnesses to share their testimony, Sakura?" Tsunade states.

"Well, Sasuke was not really himself when he was...well you know.." Sakura starts, "I mean I know him, I grew up with him, and I know when we were trying to _restrain_ him, he had no control."

He scoffs at her words, of her knowing him.

"It really wasn't his fault." She repeats from earlier.

"And you heard Hinata's story, so with this information I ask the council to make a decision." Tsunade replies. Sasuke cocks an eyebrow and notices the elders muttering amongst themselves. He then glances at the weird white eyed girl, she in return is staring back at him, they're locked onto each other and he feels her burn through his eyes, leaving him exposed to her. She blushes and then looks away, he feels even more uncomfortable than he did before.

After several minutes of awkward silence the head of the freakishly old men begins.

"We find Uchiha Sasuke exempt from his actions and will not be turned over to the ANBU, only on the terms that he is placed with a guardian until council sees fit. If he violates any of the rules set for him, is caught near the Kohona boundaries, or gives any reason not to be trusted, the sentence will be death."

Sasuke opens his mouth, but Tsunade interjects, "The offer is accepted and Sasuke will be placed with Hatake Kakashi."

Kakashi almost chokes on his mask.

--

I am led into a fairly normal looking apartment; everything is a bit dark, which is something I'm fond of. Then he drops what's left of my things in a bedroom and stands in front of me with his arms crossed across his chest. He seems like the same old guy, and yet there is this shimmer in his eyes that I had not noticed before, like happiness almost. But his face is stern and he pokes me in the forehead.

"You are a very lucky boy."

"Hn."

"Yeaaa," he continues ignoring my discomfort, "I have a few rules, first three months you can't leave without me, after that maybe you'll get more privileges, if I suspect any reason to, I will beat you like a pulp."

I smirk, and take in fact we're about the same height, even though right now if feel like I'm twelve again. For some reason I just wish to curl up in my bed and sleep, so I just nod at the random things he says and zone out for a while.

"...anyways like I said, If you're going to have sex I want you to know these walls are pretty thin, so that's enough for now and I'll let you make yourself at home, if you have any questions, please hesitate to ask."

I twitch slightly and walk into my room, shutting the door on his face. Wearing only hospital pants and bandages I lay in bed and close my eyes.

I hear him call from outside the door, "Oh and don't you even think about stealing my books."

That last comment would have made anyone else smile.

But soon that feeling wears off and I'm stuck in my mind again. Repeated images of death play like a movie. I remember snapping Lee's arm off his dismangled body and digging my nails through Neji's abdomen, fingers dancing in his intestines. I wonder how many are dead, or even how some of them survived. Sakura had no visible wounds, and now that I try rummaging through my brain, I don't remember actually seeing her that night. But one thing sticks at the back of my head, why was that Hyuga girl's story so important?

I fall out of consciousness, right into a nightmare.

--


	3. the murderer

The Murderer

Kakashi pours the remaining tea into his mug and takes a seat at his kitchen table. He fumbles around with some newspapers in his early morning daze and yawns loudly. Folding the papers messily and tossing them on the counter he gets up to check on his waffles, uses a knuckle to rub his eye crust and yawns again. Glancing at the clock hanging on his wall he swears under his breath. He moans to himself, the one day he gets off and is allowed to sleep in, and he's up before the sun. He hadn't got any sleep the entire week, but instead listened to the torturous screams of his young roommate every night.

As he cuts into his chocolate chip waffle he hears a bedroom door creak open. Kakashi smiles behind his mask, and takes in the view of his old student. Once one of the most desirable boys of his age when he was younger, Kakashi concludes that Sasuke still has the potential to be good looking, but with his current state one would say he looks like a corpse. Everything about him seems zombie like; his sickly pale skin, straggly overgrown black hair and his bony limbs that make him out to be a scarecrow. A thought of amusement crosses Kakashi's mind as he thinks of the response of all the young hormone stuck girls.

"Good morning Sasuke." Kakashi hums delightfully.

Sasuke silently drinks a cup of water and flips through the papers, showing no emotion towards the headlines that involve him or a murder count. He flicks absent mindedly through the pages ignores his sensei's stare, fully knowing that the man is searching his eyes for a window into his head.

He is searching in vain.

Kakashi clears his throat, "How was your night?"

"Fine."

"I heard you." Kakashi replies feeling a bit brave or slightly indifferent to Sasuke's pride.

Time seems to set still and for a moment Sasuke isn't too sure whether he heard right. Because he remembers everything from last night and the nights before, every toss and turn, and every jolt of pain through his chest, but mostly he remembers the raw memories that he couldn't stop take over his mind. And he hated himself even more when he woke up. He snaps back into reality and takes another sip of his drink.

"No you didn't."

"...uh yes I did, because I didn't get any sleep."

"Buy some earplugs." Sasuke shrugs seemingly unphased. He glances at the perfectly cut waffle on the plate and back up at Kakashi, wondering how he eats with his mask on. "Are you going to eat that?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

Kakashi gets up and takes his breakfast to his bedroom, leaving a very disappointed Uchiha.

--

I am the infamous Uchiha murderer, incapable of emotion and lacking a conscious.

That's the conclusion I get as I finish reading through another article about myself, written by someone I've never met. I don't feel any remorse or sympathy, even though I may have killed a relative of the bitter journalist, judging on the anguish, I'd have to say her husband. I don't know who I am anymore, a figment of imagination; perhaps in the future they will use my name to scare children, telling them if they don't eat their vegetables the big bad Uchiha will eat them in their sleep.

There is one thing I want and I want it more than anything.

I want to feel again.

There are cracks on the kitchen tiles and the counters are clean, but the shelves are covered in dust. In fact the whole house is like this, clean but unused. I wonder if he ever has company over, and if anyone actually knows Kakashi outside of being a comrade during battle or just another co-sensei. After looking around the small living area I notice a few picture frames sitting on the coffee table. So I go to further to inspect them, not that I care at all about his life, but I am fairly bored in this hell hole. I sit down and pick up the dark wood frame and am very surprised to feel my lips twitching. It's a photo of my team six years ago, three innocent children with hope in their eyes to make the world a better place. Except for one of them, a boy with a faint smirk his arms crossed and trying to ignore the other two. It's a funny image, Naruto wearing a dragon headdress attempting to squeeze closer to Sakura and she covered in bright decorative makeup batting her eyelashes at me. Everyone is happy and smiling, and I know that the last thing on our minds is missions or training.

"You remember that day?"

I don't bother to put the picture down and run out like a scared little boy, which is really what I want to do. But instead I bring myself to look him straight in the face, and open my mouth to reply, but for some reason the words are stuck in my throat, so I just nod.

"It was the Sunflower Festival." He answers, "I took you guys there and said I only did it because I needed the 'sensei team activity hours' so that you could pass."

That night when he told us that, I wondered what it was but waited for Naruto to ask, just so I could roll my eyes and call him a dobe. I guess I always thought that when you're a sensei they make you spend "quality" time with your team to get to know them better and that missions and training were excluded as team activity hours. I never thought about it like that, but now it makes sense for all the times he took us out for ramen and whatnot.

"Hai."

He continues, "But I lied. There's no such thing as activity hours, I just wanted to treat you guys out without the team thinking I was soft."

Part of me is shocked, but another part isn't at all. I think I always knew that he deeply cared for us, at one point Naruto had said something to me as we were lying on the grass ready to sleep after a mission had been completed. He was talking about dumb things, but then would switch over suddenly to deep thoughts that he would carelessly share, as if he wasn't afraid of opening up to me, as if we were friends.

"_Sasuke, you know I never had a dad...but I think Kakashi sensei comes pretty close, whadda think?"_

_He didn't know about my past at the time, only months later Sakura would tell him and he never treated me differently, like I was damaged. Anyone else would have been afraid to ask me a personal question, but he really didn't have the slightest clue. So I thought about his question and decided to give him the best answer I had._

"_I didn't really know my father, but I think you're right."_

"_Don't tell him I said that, okay?"_

"_Yeah sure dobe."_

"_Sasssuukeee...."_

"_Fine! Now go to sleep."_

I made a friend subconsciously. And now that I think back on it, I realize that I made a family, and that they loved me, but I chose not to accept it.

And now I wish I did.

"I really did care for you guys." He says quietly to himself. I hear the sadness in his voice, as if he broke a long time ago and just now he's beginning to understand it. I know that it's because he feels like he's failed me, like he could have prevented what I became, and that he thinks it's his fault. He can't bring himself to hate me, but I can do it for him.

And before I can stop myself I reply, "You've always been soft."

There's an outline of a grin on his face, his eyes are tired but there's definitely a look of relief as he sits down next to me on the couch. He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs before taking the picture from my hand and placing it back on the coffee table. Then he just laughs, as if what I said brightened his day, his week, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. I can't control myself from smiling, a real smile. And I find it funny that I'm in this situation, having a one on one with my old sensei, my old man. I never ever thought that I'd be here, that I'd be feeling again. It's funny, but so sad.

And yet I laugh.

I am surprised to hear my own laughter, and can just imagine the expression on Kakashi's face, total confusion. The world must be coming to an end, but I laugh anyway. And we go on like this for what seems like hours, but is really only a minute. I feel tears roll down my cheeks and I feel unlike myself, not only because I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying, but because the real reason for my crying is everything I've done. And he understands that, he knows what's going on right now. So he puts a hand on the top of my back and his laughter fades away while mine just turns into sobbing, and he just waits for me to get through it. I hunch over to hold my head in my hands and weep.

I feel so pathetic.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the words come out like vomit, and I keep apologizing over and over again. It's almost comical, joy turning into this. But he just waits till I'm cried out and silent then he just straightens up and calmly exhales.

"I forgave you the day you left."

Relief floods through me, like a tidal wave. I regain my composure, I become myself again, Sasuke Uchiha. So I just sit there, unsure if he will go back to his room or if I will just go to my mine and pretend this never happened. And an unspoken agreement crosses between us, to never say anything about this again. But he says something that catches me off guard.

"You wouldn't believe it, but tomorrow's the Sunflower Festival and I really need my sensei activity hours." He says casually as if nothing happened moments before.

I get up from the couch and walk to my room, "Well I better go if I want to pass."

--

It's late in the evening, and the sun is melting away from the sky, stars faintly appear. The streets are decorated with warm paper balloons of red and yellow, and every shop has a vase of sunflowers on display or the flower garnishing the front door. Children run up and down the street holding the long stems or picking the petals off with huge grins on their faces. People are laughing and talking to old friends; some people are wearing costumes or masks, while others are dressed in fall coloured kimonos. Hinata makes her way through the crowd and finds the restaurant which her friends are all seated at. Shikamaru, Chouji, Tenten, Ino, Kiba, Shino, Sakura and Naruto are enjoying themselves for the first time in the past two weeks.

She brings a shaking hand to the fold of her obi, twisting the ruby fabric in her fingers as she sits down with a few familiar faces. She exchanges greetings with a couple people and notices everyones carefree mood unravel before her very eyes. Emptiness and grief has taken over all of their lives, and no one is able to ignore it completely.

"Hey Hina, how's it going?" Kiba asks happily.

She softly answers, "I am doing my best Kiba."

They were all trying their best to act completely normal, but if you studied them closely you could see each of the coping in their own way. Tenten had just gone through the loss of a long time boyfriend, and struggling with the condition of her other team mate. Hinata had felt a connection as she too mourned the loss of her cousin and had talked to Tenten briefly at the funeral. And Shikamaru was deeply troubled with the loss of people he had become so close with that he started smoking after quitting two years prior. Even cheerful Kiba had taken to drinking, and could not convince anyone he was okay after the death of his loyal companion.

Naruto ordered another drink for her as she got more comfortable and she glanced at him, still a bit stiff and injured, she wondered why he left the hospital early, maybe just to celebrate with his friends? He and the others sang and made jokes, trying to lift the mood and survive. Sakura was still sulking, but giving her best to enjoy the others. Just as Shikamaru was about to say something he stopped and his eyes averted to the entrance. He looked a bit uneasy and pulled his sleeve up to ready his hands in case of emergency. Hinata turned her head to see why everyone is suddenly so edgy, she saw him. Standing next to Kakashi, he was wearing a plain dull navy kimono and waiting to be seated. Hinata noticed that he was hold a sunflower and could swear she saw a small smile, but was quickly replaced by a frown when he looked over at them. Their table has gone silent and out of the blue Tenten stands up and grabs her purse.

"I'll see you all later." She says quickly and leaves. Ino dismisses herself to comfort her friend and the table is once again hushed. Hinata turns back to Sasuke and Kakashi and she sees that they've left. Something tugs at her chest and a violent pain pulses through her body. She cringes and clenches her fist, and the pain subsides as it has done in the past eleven days, every time she thought of him.

Naruto notices her pain, "Hinata are you okay?"

"Ah y-yes thank you." She replies, reverting to her younger shy self, "If y-you'll excuse me."

She leaves and walks down the street, now only lit up with lanterns and candles. She doesn't know why, but she is desperately searching for him, to ask him. She needs to find him, to find out why she dreams every night. Why she's been seeing the things he's did in her own head as soon as she drifts off to sleep.

Why does she share his hurt?

--

I see her.

She is standing near an almost empty pastry shop, with a look of distress on her face. Her face, it's pretty, her dark hair is pulled into a bun and her bangs are clipped to the side with amber ornaments. She is dressed simply in a burnt orange kimono that is lined with gold tread creating a diamond pattern on her sleeves. Why is it I am so intrigued by this girl? Why is it when she looked at me I felt my heart contract?

I walk to her from behind and reach out to touch her back softly, but she reacts quickly and turns to push her palm into my shoulder, which would probably drain all the chakra I have and leave me with a limp arm. Even in my weakened state I am able to catch it and grasp it tightly. Her blank eyes bore into mine and I see panic flash through her. I am desperate to know, so I say what it is I need to say and grip her hand securely.

I spit it out coldly, "What did you do to me?"

Her eyes widen and she mutters something that I'm unable to hear.

"Say it again." I say firmly.

"I-I brought you back." She whispers.

--

I know that their "relationship" is going along very slow, but these things take time and more development than I thought. Sorry about any grammar mistakes, it was late.

Reviews are really appreciated!


	4. the healer

The Healer

_"You are quite strange." She murmurs to herself as she tightens the buckles on her sandals. Dusting her palms off, she gets up and combs her hand through her fiery hair. "It's almost as if I am walking with ghost, talking to someone who isn't really there."_

_"Whatever Karin."_

_She gives a lingering stare and smiles thoughtfully._

_"I think we'll make a great team, we should leave the others and run off together." She winks; I can feel the sickness form in my stomach. "I can give you anything you want."_

_"No you can't."_

_Anger enters her stare, though she fears me too much to release it, "Well who can then?"_

_"No one can." I refuse to give her the satisfaction of there even being a slight chance of her sick obsession. _

_"You're using me then?"_

_"Yes...but you already knew that."_

_Later on, when I was done with her, with all of them, I disposed of them quickly. Some of the fights were harder than others, but against my will I the mark made sure no one survived. But I left her for last, not because she was the strongest, but because I knew she needed the closure. So before I ripped her heart out, I gave her a taste of what she wanted from me._

_"I never know what you're thinking." She whispered as she pressed her warm skin to mine. It took almost all my self control to refrain from cringing and shoving her away. Everything about her was cheap and disgusting, and I couldn't stop thinking about the bath I would need to take to wash off her overpowering flowery scent. She traced a line down my bare chest with her fingernail, and sighed contentedly. "I knew you wanted me."_

_"You have no idea what I want."_

_She sits up and hisses violently, "If you tell me I can give it to you."_

_She grabs my wrist and pleads, without any shame, not even bothering to cover herself up. Even though others had hinted at her beauty, I never could find the attraction, even with her leaning naked over me, I felt nothing. Her skin was burning on mine, and there was thirst in her eyes, but a shallow passion that I hated to see. So I stopped wasting my time, with a girl who could give me nothing._

_"You have no worth to me."_

_Tears fall down her cheeks and I have to refrain from slapping them off her pitiful face._

_"You used me."_

_"Yes."_

_Then it was over, and I still felt nothing. After I washed the bloody mess off my flesh, I never thought anything of her again. There was no sadness or guilt, I just added her to the increasing number of people I cut to pieces._

_I felt nothing._

"I-I brought you back."

When she speaks her voice slices through me, and I bleed. How can she just say that, as if it needs no explanation, as if it were the simplest thing in the world? She's looking through me, and shivers run down my back, I need to escape...but I need to know.

"From what?" I ask hungrily, shaking her body slightly."What did you do?"

I must come off as partly insane.

She looks like a frightened rabbit, blinking back tears and inwardly praying that this manic will let her go. But she doesn't look away from me, instead she pulls away lightly.

"I woke up a-and found you..." she starts so quietly that I can barely hear her. "You were dead."

Some kind of adrenaline runs through my veins and I cut her off.

"Why? Why did you not leave me?" I retort angrily.

"O-our job was t-to bring you back alive." She hesitates turning pink. "I h-had to... I-I felt it inside me."

"You don't know me."

"But I feel like I do."

She doesn't stutter, because she's absolutely sure what she's saying is the truth. It takes me back, and I'm unsure what to say, because that feeling she has, I almost know exactly what she's talking about. My chest is burning; I notice that the pain starts in that particular spot, where I had dug the blade into my heart. This is the most intense I've felt this throbbing before, but in a way where I want it to continue, because sometimes that's all I feel, and even then I am still numb. There are so many things in my head that don't make sense, questions that I have no idea how to answer. It's as if I'm grabbing onto the ends of a rope, but I don't know where it will lead to. So I start off with the first questions that pop into my head, in hopes that I'll get somewhere.

"How did you survive?"

"A second wave was positioned not so far away f-from where the last group that found you." She looks away and grief fills her blank eyes, "I w-was a medical n-nin and I passed out a-after healing a few people... N-neji hid me s-so I could live."

She didn't fight me, but I wonder if she had, would I have felt something as I watched her die? And of course it was her cousin that saved her life, of course it was the same man that Sakura had cried about, that I had brutally murdered. I inwardly flinch as the memory of his torn up corspe lying in my hands enters my thoughts.

"When I-I found you, everyone was dead." She bits her lip, her voice so quiet. "I used a forbi-"

"HEY! Sasuke!" Kakashi's voice calls from the other side of the almost abandoned street. He walks across and I curse under my breath. It feels pretty embarrassing to have your sensei check up on you when you're eighteen years old. I look at Hinata to see her standing wide eyed, but there's slight relief on her face, that she can finally get away.

But it's not that easy.

"It's way past eight o'clock! You know how much trouble you could get in for staying late past you curfew? How much trouble I could get in?" Kakashi says sternly, "You have to.... oh hi Hinata."

She squeaks.

Kakashi raises a brow at the uncomfortable scene. "So umm are you guys friends?"

I am speechless at how stupid he is.

"I have to go home!" Hinata says quickly.

Kakashi smirks, "Well you guys seem to be having fun, why don't you come over?"

"I-I can't, father w-wou-"

"It's only nine thirty! Come on I just bought sunflower muffins that have your name written all over it!"

"I-I......"

"Alrighty, Sasuke?"

I am speechless at how sly he is.

So I nod.

--

The two awkward young adults sit on the couch waiting for their host to bring tea and muffins. Kakashi seems to be taking a ridiculous amount of time to heat the water and thus leaves them very uneasy and silent. Hinata is seated as far as possible away from Sasuke, while he has his elbow on the armrest with a hand rubbing his eye. Everything is silent.

He groans quietly to himself and turns to her, "Sorry about this."

She blushes and does something unexpected, she giggles.

"What?" He snaps irritably.

Her face turns a deeper shade of pink and she stutters nervously, "I-it was n-nothing."

He rolls his eyes, "Fine."

"I-it's just..." she pauses, "I don't know a-anyone with a curfew a-as early as e-eight o'clock."

He smiles.

"Well, that wasn't embarrassing enough without you saying that." Then he remembers their conversation before Kakashi had interrupted them, "What were you saying before?"

"Oh...when I-I found you?"

"Yeah."

"W-well the Huyga Clan has m-many secret and forbidden scrolls, a-and when I w-was little I l-learned a forbidden one called the s-second chance jutsu." She replies so softly that her voice is almost muted from the sound of the kettle, "It is a chakra transfer jutsu that c-can be performed on a-a person who's just passed away."

"But the person who performs it has to trade in their own life." Kakashi says as he walks into the living room. He sets the cups on the table and sits down on the chair across from them. "That is why it is forbidden."

"Do you mind?" Sasuke asks impatiently.

"I've heard it remember? That day in the Hokage's office, Hinata had to go through it with the council and I was there." He answers.

"Ah..." His voice trails off as his sensei's previous statement sets in, he turns back to Hinata. "But why aren't you dead then?"

"I-I don't know."

Kakashi takes off his vest and leans back in his chair before slowly countering Sasuke's question. "That jutsu has been used very few times, and only twice has been used without the result of death. One time being a couple weeks ago when Sakura had snuck into the hospital to perform it on Naruto, but instead of trading her chakra, it traded half of his for the nine tail's."

"Not all of us have the blood of a demon running through our body." Sasuke thinks to himself, slight bitterness tainting his words. He speaks up, "Why did it work for her then?"

Kakashi shrugs, "I'm not sure."

"Well that was useless." Sasuke grumbles.

Hinata checks the clock and bits her lip again, "I really have to go."

Without thinking Sasuke says, "I should walk you there."

Kakashi gives him a look.

"If that's okay?"

"Uhh of course U-Uchiha san." She says gently, her tongue finding a weird taste when she says his name. Kakashi leaves the room and Sasuke sneaks a look at Hinata, who has an expression on her face that he is unable to read. It is a peaceful look, with just a bit of child like worry. She is poking her fingers together and looking down at her lap. Kakashi re-enters the room, this time holding a black bird mask with silver lines overlapping each other near the crown. He tosses it to Sasuke and crosses his arms across his chest.

"Don't get caught, don't be late."

--

Hinata is completely hushed, but her mind is full of words racing around. She is concerned to why she's even here, in the middle of the night on an abandoned road with that man of people? If he wanted to at any moment, he could surely kill her. The streets are so lonely tonight that no one would even know, and that when they finally identified her body, it would be too late. She comes to the realization that no one would care. He is walking at a slower pace than his usually quickened stride, to keep up with her. He doesn't speak, not even about the details of that day not to long ago. Hinata wonders if he came along with pure intentions, if he actually only cared for her to get home safely. As quickly as she considers him a killing machine her mind switches to a different thought, that she can feel this strange heat, like a child's warmth flowing from him. As if there are two different people inside constantly fighting to win control.

"I'm sorry." He repeats not looking at her, but instead keeping his eyes straight ahead, it's an attempt to keep her out of his head.

"N-no problem."

The rest of the walk is soundless, with the exception of footsteps and breathing. They make it to the Hyuga compound and she gives him a nervous farewell. He just about lets her go through the gates, but at last minute he calls out, his tone not as cold and distant as usual. In fact it is kind and in a way almost frantic for an answer.

"I want to hear the rest of your story... it doesn't have to be now," he begins cautiously, "But I need to know."

"M-maybe later then.."

"Then I'll see you around."

"O-okay... Uchiha san."

"Just call me Sasuke." He replies causally and the leaves.

She can't help but say his name in a whisper just to hear it.

Finally she gets to her home and sneaks in, walking quietly down the main hall, and heading into her bedroom with no interruptions. She's not quite surprised though, her father never really cared enough to wonder where she was late at night. As long as she didn't do anything to create disapproval towards the Hyuga name, then he would leave her alone. So she curls up in her bed, with her knees pulled towards her chest and holding onto a photograph for her life.

"Mother..."

With that Hinata Hyuga falls to sleep.

--

_She sits impatiently in the waiting room, clutching her teddy bear and kicking her legs up and down like the child she is. A nurse makes her way towards the small seven year old and kneels down so she's at eye level._

_"Hinata, your mother is quite sick. I'm afraid this is the last time you'll be able to visit her."_

_Tears swell up in the little girl's eyes, but she simply nods and is lead down the hall by the nurse. She enters the room alone and stands at the entrance afraid of seeing her dying mother._

_"Come here." Her mother calls sweetly._

_The girl does what she is told._

_She reaches and gives her mother a hug, and when she releases she places the stuffed animal on the bed. Then she looks at the floor and points her fingers together biting her lip, as sadness over takes her innocent heart. She looks just like her future self, despite the pigtails she is wearing and much smaller frame. The mother scoots over and allows her daughter to sit with her on the bed. She reads her stories, plays with her, laughs and does all the things a mother does. Her breathing becomes heavier and heavier, until finally she kisses Hinata's forehead and smiles._

_"I love you my beautiful girl."_

_And with that both their spirits wilt away. _

_Her mother is dead._

_But Hinata was ready for this, so she breathes in and out, remembering the phrases in her head. It's from the scroll she stole a few weeks ago from the elder's library, the most dangerous thing she's done. But she knows that it will be worth it, that if it works, her father will love her and her mother will be okay, even if it means that she will have to die. So she recites the words clumsily and fumbles with her fingers, until she gets it right. She performs the forbidden jutsu and presses her small palm on her mother's heart. A tremendous pulse goes through her entire body and she blackens out._

_Only to wake up the next morning to find out she was unsuccessful._

_Only to find out that she sacrificed part of her chakra that she would never get back._

_That she would forever be branded as a useless failure._

_And that her mother was still dead._

--

I didn't get any sleep again.

But this time it wasn't because I was dreaming of blood or screams of mercy. This time it had nothing to do with my former nightmares. This time spent the whole night thinking about a strange girl with a speech impediment. It's not that I like her, because I would never drop to that level of normality.

She just helps me feel.

--

Review please!!


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